"That babysitter’s going to be in so much trouble. His tag clearly says “Dry clean only.”"
"David Blains first stupid stunt. 15 minutes on the delicate cycle."
"I press this button, Social Services will be here in 5 minutes- Now get my my blanky!"
"His older brother told him it was a time machine. What he failed to mention was that the future involved shit everywhere and third degree burns."
"I could have sworn I left him in the trunk."
"Yeah, sure this is the way to Narnia. Get in there, you little fucker."
"Too cheap to take her kids to Disney World, Britney threw her kids in the dryer with some Mickey Mouse sheets and called it the “Magic Kingdom”."
"Jeff Goldblum, don’t do it! There’s a fly in there with you!"
"how do i flush this thing?"
"If the clothes hanger didn’t get him, the clothes dryer will."
"That babysitter’s going to be in so much trouble. His tag clearly says “Dry clean only.”"
                     
" "
 

Blah Blah Blahgs

FOD WIRE | July 22, 2008

McCain_Map.jpg
by H. Harold Epstein, Political Correspondent

Following two geography-related gaffes, Senator John McCain has pledged to revamp the world map by 2010. On Monday's Good Morning America , the Senator referred to "the situation on the Iraq/Pakistan border."  The two countries do not share a border. Last week, McCain made a similar mistake in reference to the Russian government "reducing the energy supplies to Czechoslovakia." Czechoslovakia has not existed since 1993, when the nation split into the Czech Republic and Slovakia. Today, the Senator vowed to make these blunders technically correct by 2010.

"If Americans elect me in November, I promise to turn the geography in my mind into a reality," said McCain to supporters. The Senator outlined a plan to annex a portion of Afghanistan to be renamed "Iraq Too," so that it might border Pakistan. He also plans for the reinstitution of long-obsolete country names, including Czechoslovakia, Burma (now Myanmar), Persia (now Iran), and the U.S.S.R.

"We will ease tension in the Middle East by situating these countries where I thought they were," said McCain. "Why can't Israel be next to Yemen? That's how I've always thought of it. Let's make it happn, people."  

The Senator plans to make Project Map Reboot a main topic at upcoming rallies. "I'll be delivering this message all across America- from the shores of Kansas, then north to Louisiana, then to the neighboring state of Oregon."

 

Comments (1)

 

Comment:


 
twonicus
twonicus

sorry, i just can’t make fun of the man for this…there is a lot of world out there, it’s hard to remember it all (especially if you grew up before we had all these pesky continents to remember). The Senator just wishes it was the same as when he was growing up…everything was just Pangea…

(posted about 1 months ago)