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OLD INDIANA JONES & THE NURSING HOME OF DOOM Osteo-porosis Glau-coma Ar-thritis Vi-agra I'm So old, I'm Old Indy In th... more >

OLD INDIANA JONES & THE NURSING HOME OF DOOM Osteo-porosis Glau-coma Ar-thritis Vi-agra I'm So old, I'm Old Indy In this Nursing Home, no more Adventures for me I'm so old, I smell like Grandpa Pee Help ! I've fall-en and I can't get up. Life Alert. I'm so old, when I use my whip I'm so old, I always break my hip I'm so old, I can barely see I'm so blind that I never know when I'm done wiping my ass I'm so old, that I'm crotchety When I was your age I had to walk ten miles in the freezing snow or in the rain just to go to school or get a drink and maybe get laid I'm so old, that I shit Dust I'm so old, that I piss Rust I'm so old, vultures are circling me I used to go on adventures but I can't find my dentures so I don't anymore. Now I can date someone 1/3 my age and I don't break any laws When I was a College professer i'd do your all your daughter's after class but now all I get is your old Grandmas stanky ass. I'm incontinent. I can't hear or see I'm so Old My prostate is killing me i'm so old, i don't care about archeology I would trade 10 lost arks, 100 temple of dooms and even a holy grail full of a never ending supply of pussy just to poop regularly I'm so Old, I look like I had a stroke I'm so Old, I'll sign a Do Not Resusitate Form I'm so Old, I use grecian formula 16 on my pubic hair that's why I traded my whip for a cane and my horse for one of them snazzy electric scooter chairs. yep, now I can get around almost anywhere. These damn false teeth. This damn I.V. These adult diapers. I have no more dignity. This damn Nursing Home. Somebody Just kill me. Please i'm begging. Seriously. I really mean it. Just put me out of my misery already < less

BLASTING FARTS I'm on the elevator my guts in horrible pain I'm trying to hold them in but it was all in vain gas starts... more >

BLASTING FARTS I'm on the elevator my guts in horrible pain I'm trying to hold them in but it was all in vain gas starts to pass before you know it I'm farting but I was embarrassed so I decided to blame you whoever smelt it dealt it I said while pointing at you and everyone is sniffing it Thinking you're disgusting And they don't care what you say whoever denied supplied it and i'm still pointing your way and they don't know the truth my farts are silent but deadly they haven't figured out it's me I spread my butt cheeks and I keep farting keep, keep farting farts I keep farting I keep, keep farting farts keep farting keep, keep farting farts yes, I cut the cheese Im pretending it's not me but now my farts are so loud Their piercing sounds fill my ears like a thunderous sound yet I know that my goal is to keep me from farting but nothing's greater than the rush of air that comes from my ass you try to Lysol my Ass you Lysol all over the place and everyone around me hopes the elevator door will open, hoping it's their floor But I don't care what they say I can't Hold my farts in You try to wave the smell away and try not to Breath in My gut is Crippled by the Pain I can't hold my Farts anymore I let one Rip and I keep farting keep, keep farting farts I keep farting I keep, keep farting farts keep farting keep, keep farting farts I blew one out my ass And it really stinks like Hell Oh they find it hard to believe I keep dropping these Butt Bombs What the Hell did I eat But I don't care what they say I don't care what they do They try to get away but they all know the truth There's no escaping my Farts That I keep on farting Just Light a Match because I Keep farting Keep, keep farting farts Keep farting Keep, keep farting farts Keep farting Keep, keep farting farts I farted to hard and I shit keep shitting farting, sharting, shitting shit keep shitting I keep, keep shitting shit keep shitting keep, keep shitting shit My pants are ruined but I keep shitting keep, keep shitting all over you. (more) < less