By: Bryan Safi

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You know that feeling you get when you wake up to go to your thanklesstemp job and then come home to your fat girlfriend with self-diagnosedCarpal Tunnel only to look at yourself in the mirror and think,”Besides re-reading A New Earth, is there anything remotely new orexciting in my life right now?” ‘ Uh…HELL YES THERE IS. ‘

Funny or Die just had a seriously gigantic orgasm. Here’s what came of that orgasm (Came! Get it? Hilarious.)

Forthose of you who read or just like to look at word shapes, we have theFOD WIRE , where you can find a news article and photo caption contestevery single day. And FOD knows its news . Just click on the headline and laugh at the world the way itusually laughs at you.

Go down (get it?) and just below the headline on the front page youcan find TODAY’S SPECIAL, which features web series, user of the day,classic comedy and stand-up.

If you’re a star-fucker (do you getit?), go to the bottom of the page and check out the RED CARPET CLUB.Eva, Fergie, John and Jack are waiting for you.

Finally, when you’re in a post-coital snuggle with Carpal Tunnel,try out the JOKE OF THE DAY and for the first time in a long time, fallasleep with a smile on your face.


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