Boys are Crazy for Me

So this past weekend Paul Rudd and I were laying in bed post coital and my man turns to me and goes, “You're beautiful and a sweet mother-lovin' lay. Also, I have an idea for Funny Or Die.” I don't usually like to talk business in the place where I do my bizness but he got me with the compliments. Long story short, my man tell me he wants to do this . It's an actual downloadable screensaver and the directions are here . Just when I was about to tell my man that he is a genius and reward him with some 69 time, the door to my bedroom flies open and in marches James Franco , aka My Ex-Boyfriend Who Is Still Way Obsessed With Me. Of fucking course James is crying. He goes, “You're beautiful and a sweet mother-lovin' lay. Take me back. Also, did you see my latest video on Funny Or Die?” I knew that he was talking about this which I had seen and which I love. But really, James' timing was way off so all I said was, “What is your problem, dude? My new man and I are kind of busy getting busy right now.” James got the point and left but he has not stopped texting me since which of course is making Paul upset which I don't mind because when he's upset he's more aggressive in the sack so it's a win/win for me.

Anyway, all this to say, I hope you had a great holiday weekend.

–Amy