Nine Shocking Revelations from Vanity Fair’s Bill Clinton Expos ‘

– In recent years, Clinton's charisma level has slipped from “Off the Charts” to “Most Charming Man on the Planet.”

– Weeks after comparing Barack Obama to Jesse Jackson, Clinton drew complex analogy between Obama's campaign and the time J.J. joined a street gang on Good Times .

– Clinton biography My Life actually just a photocopied Arby's menu.

– Despite repeated intervention from aides, Clinton's Netflix queue is a total mess.

– Carelessly accepts speaking engagements, as evidenced by his officiating a mass wedding of Sun Myung Moon followers in 2005.

– Spent Labor Day weekend 2007 hunting pussy in Malibu with Vincent Chase, Johnny Drama, and Turtle.

– Due to association with questionable business partners, Clinton's Ebay user feedback is at dismal 46% positive.

– Following torrid affair with Eleanor Mondale, Clinton tried unsuccessfully to woo Mary Cheney.

– Despite Clinton's unflappable exterior, all those Jay Leno monologue jokes really hurt his feelings.