Top 5 Things My Mom Said While on Vacation to Visit Me in L.A.

Last Week My Mom and Stepdad Came to L.A. to Visit.

1.) “Paul, let me ask you something when they make those films (re: porn) are they really erect or is that simulated?”

2.) “You know who I like? The Black Eyed Peas. But ONLY that one song!”

3.) “Is this the gay part of town? The guidebooks says, we'll know when we are in the gay part, but I can't tell”

4.) “I still don't think O.J. did it”

5.) “How Much Cocaine would I have to do to lose 10 pounds?”