By: Jack Packard

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Olympic Fever Baby!!

…oh wait that’s the bird flu…damn.

Has it been two years already?
This should be a fun post post, I can say anything I want about the athletes and reporters because they can’t read it, so thank you china.
An while I’m not that exited about getting up at 2AM to watch womens ribbon rhythm gymnastics

Hey ‘ya got to masturbate to something right?

And isn’t that what the Olympics are all about, All nations of the world coming together to circle jerk.
Where athletes compete in feat’s of strength not seen since 7th grade P.E..
Now that ballroom dancing is an Olympic event all they need to do is include jumping jack’s and the rope climb and every sadistic gym teacher will be validated for picking on the fat kid ‘so thank you very much Mrs. Grabowski ‘ya bitch.

Which leads me to this though ‘.what do you suppose an olympic shot putter does in the off season.

Besides the HOT ASIAN OLYMPIC ACTION!!!!!! We can also look forward to STEAMY GIRL ON GIRL PROTESTS!!!!
-Chinese people are oppressed
-Tibet is still not free (no matter what your bumper sticker says)
-The only thing the air in china is good for is huffing.
-China has NUKES
-the US has NUKES
-Iran dosen’t have NUKEs but they’re working on it.

I think the best thing about the protestors is they reveal the secret plain clothes Chinese police and they strike with NINJA FORCE ‘wait Ninja’s are Japanese ‘I’m confusing my Asians again ‘but they’re both asian so that’s not rasict.

I really think that People are just tired of the same old same old, the olympics have been around for a couple thousand years.
What we really need is some star power…
here are some events that will up attendance for the next one.


The TOMatholon


*note, only Arnold Schwarzenegger or John Conner may enter this event

And Dinosaur wrangling

Of course these are only suggestions to bring a little ZAZZ!!! back to the olympics.
If you’d like to sign my online petition to the Olympic Comity Please CLICK HERE!!!


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