By: FOD Wire
Wassala, Alaska- According to recent Nielsen ratings and voter polls, the drama surrounding Vice-Presidential candidate Sarah Palin’s family has officially jumped the shark.
“I loved Sarah Palin when she first appeared on TV,” says 37-year-old Lincoln, Nebraska housewife Katie Jelenek. “I didn’t miss one second of media coverage on her. But after the convention, there started rumors about her having an affair with her husband’s business partner, and conspiracy theorists saying that her daughter Bristol is the real mother of the baby Palin is claiming to be her own. I actually have trouble keeping all of the subplots straight in my mind.”
“A laughably quick ascension to the Vice-Presidential nomination followed by a teenage pregnancy controversy? These are the kind of plot lines that ruined The OC,” says incredulous television critic Tom Shales, “It’s not uncommon for a show to resort to lurid twists to keep up ratings. We’ve seen these kind of stunts on ER, Grey’s Anatomy, and NYPD Blue. But the Republican party is jumping the shark higher than Fonzie did.”
The Palin family’s tawdry, highly improbable story lines are expected to continue later this week with the introduction of Palin’s evil twin, a hunting accident resulting in the loss of Todd Palin’s left eye, and an elaborate two-part cliffhanger barnyard scuffle between John McCain and Bristol’s 18-year-old fiance, Levi Johnston.