DRUNK COW LADY PISSES ON PORCH
Middletown, OH – A 32 year old woman was arrested recently for the “crime” of being drunk, wearing a cow costume, blocking traffic, and urinating on a neighbor’s porch. America, we are one step closer to a police state.
When will this madness stop? I find it hard to imagine that the founding fathers would have wanted a tyrannical police force putting its boot to the throat of obviously great ideas. When did our country become one that can not tolerate getting piss drunk, putting on a cow costume, and then fucking pretending to be a cow to the best of your god given ability!?
What’s next? Will we no longer be allowed to vomit on ice sculptures and then smash them? Will it be illegal to take a shit in a bumper car? Or, heaven forbid, will we no longer be allowed to get sloshed, put a lamp shade on our head, then throw a friend through a plate glass window?
Wake up people. Let’s all be awesome drunk cows, not sheep.
Editorially,
