BREAKING NEWS: Sarah Palin Abused Power, Skin

This week brought two stunning revelations about Alaska Governor Sarah Palin. First, a bipartisan legislative council determined that the Republican vice presidential nominee abused her power in the firing of her former public safety commissioner.

In an even more shocking development, Newsweek Magazine published an un-airbrushed photo of the Palin, revealing heretofore undetected sun damage on the Governor's face. Though both revelations dealt a blow to Palin's bid for the Vice-Presidency, the Governor's reckless abuse of her face proved to be a greater issue with the nation's undecided voters.

“I consider myself open-minded, but looking at those pores and wrinkles around the eyes and gave me a lot of second thoughts about voting Republican,” said 33-year old Ohio resident Michael Madison.

“Who cares if she fired her brother-in-law unfairly?” said Darnell Whitmire, a 50-year-old Nevada native. “Anyone who doesn't bother to apply sunscreen is obviously unfit to be a heartbeat away from the presidency.”

The Newsweek cover is not the first time a harsh photo has negatively affected a major candidate. In 1988, an unretouched photo of Michael Dukakis sparked “Brow-Gate,” a scandal over the Democratic Governor's lax plucking routine.