By: FOD Wire
Did you know?
* Obama has never publicly stated that he is not a flesh vehicle for a team of tiny aliens
* Obama has fallen asleep to the history channel. What secret Hitler dream messages now rule his subconscious?
* Obama routinely hibernates from July 3rd to July 5th. ‘
* Obama refuses to talk about any instances in which he accidentally defecated in his pants. Are we to believe a human can go their entire lives without an urgent fecal mistake? America deserves the truth. ‘
* Obama does not know how to drive a monster truck.
* Ask your self this, has Obama ever shaken your hand, looked you directly in the eye, and told you he's not a Muslim? Why not? Is he scared you'll know he's lying. If he's done this once, why hasn't he done it twice? ‘
* Obama hasn't taken the time to write any patriotic songs. Obama has written zero patriotic songs. Zero. No ditties either.
* Obama's teeth, being made of enamel, are capable of crushing the windpipe of a smiling child. Yet, he chooses to keep them.
* Obama wouldn't laugh at the jokes you like. They'd make him uncomfortable. ‘
* Obama has never bought Ronald Reagan a drink. ‘