By: FOD Wire
VP Candidate Sarah Palin has officially gone rogue. Late last night the candidate went dark, and is now off the grid. After disabling her campaign jet's engines she jumped from the floundering craft's emergency door, improvising what's been termed a “pradachute” from her high end wardrobe to descend safely into the pine forests of South Carolina.
Nobody knows for sure what her plans or capabilities are, and authorities worry that her folksy recycling of McCarthy-era fear mongering will enable her to form a hyper-nationalist state that is tentatively being called Real America; the name AAAmerica has also been suspected, as it would appear first in the phonebook.
There have been early rumors that Real America will have 3-hour National Anthems before 4 minute baseball games. Schooling will be 50% national anthem and 50% abstinence education. Palin may also recruit doctors that sympathize with her now unfettered philosophy. All medical treatments will be based on the bible, and medical research will only be sold at adult bookstores. Those bookstores will be fire-bombed daily.
Without handlers acting as control rods in the fiery cauldron of ideas contained within Palin's head, experts fear an ideological meltdown.
A nationwide search continues….