By: Brian Huskey
Hello- My name is Brian Huskey and I am the guest blogger for FunnyOrDie this week. Hello. Nice to see you. Hi.
Many of you might not know who the hell I am. Sure, I could reel off a list of TV and film credits. I could link you to numerous web series videos. I could allude to a seemingly endless series of commercials in which I appear. But, you know what… I’m not gonna. I think you should do the some digging. It’ll be fun! It’s called the internet. And you’re on it right now. So use it or lose it, people!
Now, for those of you who actually read the FOD blog section on a regular basis I have to admit that I have never in fact blogged on anything in my life. Not a big fan of blogs, I guess. I know there are all sorts of blogs out there, but I think I have read to many obsessed blogs that focus on the minutiae of the blogger’s day- “Ken-O’s Daily Sandwich Update! Today I took a bit of a risk and decided to reenact the Bay of Pigs with a little something called a Cubano? A Cubano?!!!!! Ham and pork and mayo and a pickle???????!!! What the-? Was it worth not having my trusty Roast Beef with swiss, ground mustard on a kaiser role? Well gang, let’s just say… Si se puede!” That kind of thing. (But seriously check out Ken-O’s sandwich blog. Fascinating.)
So I was a little reluctant about doing this blog, until… The folks at FOD told me how much this gig pays… Holy Crapballs.
Dear readers, it is INSANE money. I am talking cashmere condoms, crystal jet skis, white snow leopards killed for my pleasure kind of money. Definitely blood money, EVIL money. Human trafficking money. But fuck it, man. This is the internet. This is the wild west where anything can happen! It’s no shock though. I mean look at all the success stories coming from the Blogosphere: Diablo Cody- BOOM! One day she is working a shitty temp job, mainataining an asymmetrical hairstyle, blah blah blahing on her blog about her favorite Salvation Army closing down and the next thing you know, her quirky, wildly unnatural dialogue is being belted out on the big screen by the likes of Rainn Wilson and Ellen Paige! Granted that is the only success story I know of that relates to blogging, but I am sure there are others.
All I knows is Huskey is getting fuggin’ rich off this shit. And I playing by MY rules. They told me to do my first post on Sunday and lookit- it’s 10:24 P.M.