Obama Criticized for Hiring Personal Carrier

President Obama has been traveling across the country in recent weeks drumming up support for his $787 billion economic stimulus package. ‘ He travels across state lines via Air Force One, county lines via Lincoln Town Car and city streets via his own personal carrier, Leo Pinson.
“Yes, I pay a guy to physically pick me up and carry me short distances,” said President Obama, “but I'm the President, so I feel like I can do that. ‘ I'm not starting any wars or anything. ‘ I just hate walking and I enjoy being held. ‘ Next question.” ‘
Republicans have been quick to criticize President Obama for hiring a man to carry him around. ‘ “We're in one of the biggest economic disasters in our nation's history and our leader is paying a man just so he doesn't have to walk?” said Gov. Mitt Romney. ‘ “Bush walked everywhere! ‘ It's time for the President to stand on his own two feet.”
What the critics don't realize is that Leo Pinson has been running his Carrying business for over 15 years. ‘ He's carried around celebrities, the elderly and people with lazy legs since as long as he can remember. ‘ Business had slowed to a snail's pace, and Mr. Pinson was about to go out of business until he got the call from the Whitehouse.”
‘”I'd almost given up hope. ‘ I like my job!” said Mr. Pinson while toting President Obama down the street to a bakery. ‘ “I thought I was going to be forced to carry normal old things around a factory, but here I am holding the President of the United States in my arms! ‘ I mean, sure he's a big guy and it can get tiring, but he's real good about making his body nice and stiff so it's easier for me.”
I asked the President if he'd ever considered riding a segway instead of being carried from place to place to which he responded, “I am not a wiener.”