MAN FINDS RED CARPET IN DUMPSTER AND ATTENDS “IMAGINE THAT” PREMIERE

by Doug Anthony Jones
Funnyordie.com Blogger
RIVERSIDE, California — It was luck at first sight for dumpster diver Willie Scott as he was making his weekly visit to the garbage bins outside the Mission Grove Plaza, part of his weekly scavenging route. “Dumpster diving” the practice of sifting through commercial or residential trash to find items that have been discarded by their owners is a practice that has become increasingly popular both in the United States and Britain.
“It was just sitting there, right on top of the bin,” says 38-year-old Willie Scott, who loaded the bright red carpet into the back of his pick-up truck and brought it home to show his wife. “We were gonna put it in our hallway, which we are currently remodeling, but it didn't fit so we weren't quite sure what to do with it.”

Later that night the Scott's sat at home watching TV, and that's when the idea came to them. ‘ “We were watching Access Hollywood's coverage of the MTV Movie Awards and we saw all the famous people walking down the red carpet”, Scott's wife, 32-year-old Linda Scott explained. “They were all smiling and having their photos taken, it all looked so glamourous.” ‘
It was shortly after that the couple began putting their unique scheme together. “We saw the trailer for “Imagine That” a few months ago and thought it looked fantastic, absolutely fantastic. We both just looked at each other and knew we'd be the first in line to see it when it came out.” ‘ The comedy-fantasy film stars Eddie Murphy as a financial executive who is invited into his daughter's imaginary world where the solutions to his career problems await him.
After conducting a brief internet search, Willie Scott learned about the premiere at Paramount Studios that upcoming weekend. The couple loaded the red carpet back into their pick-up truck, searched for directions on MapQuest, and headed to the star studded gala in Hollywood.
The couple got stuck in traffic and arrived several hours late, however that didn't stop them. “We just rolled our red carpet up to the one that was already there.” Willie Scott told reporters with an enormous smile on his face. “For a brief moment the press stood there baffled because they didn't know who we were, however once we started heading now that carpet the flashes began going off and from that point forward we received superstar treatment.”
The Scott's biggest surprise came when they were approached for an interview by “Access Hollywood”, the very show that inspired their idea in the first place. “They wanted to know what we've been up to and what we were wearing!” exclaimed Linda Scott. “It was the most exciting experience of my life… Eddie Murphy was standing five feet away from us!”

The couples excitement was short lived however, as Scott's reaction to the movie was not what he hoped it would be.
“Murphy has devolved below the least common denominator, targeting his material for the six-year olds” Willie Scott told reporters. “This movie isn't worth the garbage I found that carpet on, and the longer I watched Murphy's desperate, embarrassing attempts at provoking laughter, the worse I felt. If its failure at comedy isn't reason enough to avoid the movie, its dramatic missteps are even more unforgiveable, dishonest and repugnant. “Imagine That” is an unmitigated failure that won't even entertain the most undiscriminating and uncritical portion of its target audience, it is nothing more than two hours of torture.”
In a unpredicted turn of events Scott began striking and lashing out violently at reporters and premiere guests. “Everybody back off, get the f&*k away from me or I'll kill you!” he exclaimed as he took his shirt off and began rolling up his red carpet, then swinging around like a weapon. “Anybody who gets any closer f&*king dies” he warned onlookers.
Local security contained Scott shortly before Los Angeles Police officers took him into arrest. “That man was scary” said 9-year-old actress and Eddie Murphy co-star Yara Shahidi, who was knocked to the ground during the incident. “He swung the carpet at me and I fell down and hurt my knee.”
“Imagine That” opens nationwide on Friday, June 12, 2009.