By: Eli Braden
When life gives you lemonade, make… Actually you can probably just chill at that point.
Live by the sword, die by the sword. Or, move away and come visit your friends and family who still live by the sword during the holidays.
Only skin deep is in the eye of the beholder.
The squeaky wheel gets “Grease” on DVD.
It’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion of your enormous penis in the ocean.
Misery’s just not “in love” with company.
Imitation krab is the sincerest form of flattery krab.
It takes the Village People to raise a child person.
Opinions are like assholes: SO YUMMY.
Life’s like a box of chocolates: someday you will die.