By: Funny Or Die

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The Best Parts Of Glenn Beck’s New Website

Glenn Beck has just launched a news website: The Blaze. In a message posted Tuesday morning, the site's agenda is laid out:
“It ‘??s so hard to find a place that helps me make sense of the world I see. Too many important stories are overlooked. And too many times, we see mainstream media outlets distorting facts to fit rigid agendas. ‘? ‘
Great! So what does The Blaze have?

Really Clear Headlines

“Explicit Poetry GPS Phones Help Illegals.” Ohhhh. I get it. The illegals can't read, and thus, this headline won't make any sense to them. Or anyone.

Strong Grammar

“The image of flame is a powerful.”
This is from Beck's introductory note, which also reads “Of course we will make mistakes. Honest mistakes. And we ‘??ll be quick with corrections.”
This has been up all day, and at the time of this posting, has yet to be fixed. What a powerful.

All the Glenn Beck-Related News You Can Handle

Meant to be a conservative alternative to sites like The Huffington Post, The Blaze reports on all the important news. Like the time Glenn Beck said something. Or the time something was said about Glenn Beck. Where did they get these scoops!?!

Exclusive Coverage of Some Rally This Past Weekend

More of these exclusives! A newspaper clipping that reports numbers reported by the people who built the website? Whoever's breaking this news is in line for a promotion.

Goldline Ads


Goldfish for a Logo

You say “flame,” I say “upside-down goldfish threesome.”

Overall we're glad to see Glenn enter the world of web journalism. He finally has an arena to tell it like it is. And maybe this will be just the kick in the pants Andrew Breitbart needs to up his game. Last we saw him, he'd gotten a little sidetracked.

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