By: Stern Lucas
How did Kim Davis end up meeting with the Pope during his recent visit to the U.S.? She used Pope-Meet, the new app that matches the Pope with everyday Americans for one-on-one meetings ‘ as long as they are Kim Davis and not any of the volunteer workers, humanitarians, or devout Catholics you may think deserve it!
Here are the Lyrics bitches: Walkin’ down the street, seein’ lots of people getting’ where they need to go No one looks at me they are all distracted With what’s in their hands below I have never felt so insignificant and utterly alone Because it seems to me I’m the only one with The only one without an iphone I don’t have one but I want one in my life It’s the new version of a swiss aremy knife Minus the knife It’s like I don’t exist whenever I am with Someone who has an iphone All they do is touch touchy touchy touch touch Hey, hi, yea, I’m up here? No one seems to care that they are so addicted To their little black rectangles I think it’s really sick, despicable and shameful but I wanna be sick, despicable and shameful too I do So this must be how kids in Africa feel Every time they see someone eating a burger And they say it’s all relative then I’m Starving for technology I just cant afford those monthly fees And in this economy I don’t Need another money trap But it sure would be nice to not be Bored every time I crap But I’d be lieing if I said I don’t have an iphone (well, sort of) I have Verizon’s touchscreen I-clone The Blackberry Storm But it cannot compete with the iphone’s Stylish way ‘it’s like Qdoba is to Chipotle And I don’t care if they have queso It’s not as fresh ‘it’s not as clean, But it’s the next best thing How Aerican of me to bitch and moan About my phone But it’s kinda hard not to do when Everywhere I go it’s… 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 iphones I thought we were in a bad recession I cannot afford to not ever be bored So I fool a bunch and talk on my ipod touch But it was still like $200 Which is the same price as an iphone Still Now I fit in and don’t feel so alone Cause it looks just like a brand new iphone Minus the…phone.