By: Dan Abramson
NFL Week 4 Recap: Tim Tebow Will Heal Michael Vick
Slow week in NFL. Not much to report. McNabb returned to Philly, players wore pink to support the fight against breast cancer, and Brett Favre took the week off to file for social security. But here are the other major stories from Sunday's action.
Michael Vick Beaten Like a…
Vick went down with an injury against the Redskins after he was sandwiched by Redskin defenders. Until his injured ribs heal, doctors ordered Vick to wear a dog cone around his neck.
This Week in “The Bills are the F–king Worst”
As a Bills fan, I have no problem with the Bills playing terribly. It makes sense; they're terrible. But Sunday's loss to the Jets was beyond bad. This was like beginning of Rocky IV bad — the Bills were Apollo, and they were also Rocky V.
On the plus side, the Bills made major strides in the second quarter when they forced the Jets to take a a timeout.
Tim Tebow Sees Some Action
Tim Tebow saw some action during the Broncos victory over Tennessee. While overshadowed by starter Kyle Orton's monster game, Tebow had a pretty busy afternoon. He converted 11 people to Christianity and was able to cure a man in need of a bone marrow transplant simply by smiling at him and pointing to “the guy in the sky.” Really proving his worth as a first rounder.
The Giants Abused Jay Cutler
Literally. He'll be placed into a foster home until next Sunday.
Ray Lewis Murder Update
Like with many players, Lewis' key plays don't show up in the stats. Yes, he had seven tackles and an interception. But the time he poured gasoline all over Steelers quarterback Charlie Batch and cut off his ear is a glaring omission from the game's box score.
Hero of the Week
The Titans fell to the Denver Broncos yesterday in a game that was a match between — oh fuck it. Defensive coordinator Chuck Cecil flipping off the referees was the clear highlight of the game. Click that pic to enlarge. He's our hero. He's everyone's hero.
Goat of the Week
Nate Clements, whose Leon Lett impression blew the game for the 49ers. The picture to the left is actually from his post-game interview.