MY MOM REVIEWS: HEREAFTER

This movie is so bad I thought I was in the here after by the time it was over. It took a lifetime for the movie to end.
It's about this guy, Matt Damon, that used to be a psychic and do readings. When he touches clients he gets a jolt and sees someone you know who's passed. He decides that living a life concerned with death wasn't life at all and that being psychic isn't a gift, but a curse so he doesn't want to do it anymore.
It starts with a french couple in a gorgeous resort and the woman ends up going shopping for gifts. I'm thinking what a great vacation. This is my kind of place and she's shopping no less! I want to be there. Suddenly a tsunami comes. The whole place is shaking and a huge wave is coming, but instead of running, all the people just stand there. It's like, “Hello! Move it!” She gets caught up in the tsunami and hit in the head. When she gets fished out of the water some people give her CPR, but they were doing it wrong. They were compressing her chest and breathing at the same time. They would have exploded her lungs. So that's one problem. While she was in the tsunami she had a near death experience and that starts haunting her. She's like the Diane Sawyer of France and her experience ruins her job, her love life, everything.
Then there are twins in England – cute little boys. Their mother is an addict. One twin goes to the pharmacy to get pills for the mother, he ends up running in front of a car, he dies. The other twin has a hard time with his death.
Matt Dillon or Damon or whatever is in San Francisco. He's taking cooking classes with Bobby from the Sopranos. It's like a mish mosh of everything. What is Bobby doing here? Matt's life is so boring, all he does is listen to Charles Dickens on tape. Then when he meets the famous man who records the books, there's a close up and he has three big pieces of dandruff in his hair. You wanna smack it out. Was no one paying attention?
So you know these different people are going to get together otherwise, what is the point? To make a very very long story short (felt like 6 hours). They all wind up in London. Diane Sawyer writes a book called, guess what – HEREAFTER. Matt goes to a ‘ boring Charles Dickens reading and she's there with her book. The little twin is there too, but for no reason. They all meet. ‘ Matt keeps running away from people, like the poor little twin who wants to talk to his brother. Finally the twin is waiting outside Matt's hotel and he lets him into his hotel room. Which is a creepy scene, a strange man taking a boy into the hotel room…yeah right, that doesn't look good. The little twin gets to talk to the brother. Matt meets Diane Sawyer. They kiss, almost immediately, for no reason. There's your love story, I guess.
Then the credits roll and Clint Eastwood directed it?! He should stick to those other movies that were successful. What were they? The Harry movies that were popular? This one was blech.
And as usual, I'm in a theater where there are five people (that's how great this movie is) and two people walk in and sit right in front of me. I'm a magnet for people in front of me. I had to move.
One star. Very mad. I just spent 8.75 to watch something so stupid.