Zach Galifianakis Playing Mad Libs for GQ

You know what? We're gonna go out and say it: Zach Galifianakis is good at making the funnies. Oh my. Gonna need a breather while I come down from the risk-taking high I'm riding right now. In the meantime, please enjoy this excerpt from Galifianakis's profile in this month's GQ, where he was asked to fill out a MadLibs-style fill-in-the-blanks. In it he talks about his plans for solving the world's biggest issues.
His answers in bold and all caps
I learned a lot about the world on the set of my newest movie, 'The Hangover Part II.' We made this one because I still felt unresolved about MY CHARACTER'S FATNESS and Mike Tyson's PIGEON LOVE. We shot it in Thailand, which is fun, because there you can GET INTO FIGHTS WITH PACKS OF STRAY DOGS. I also got to work with Bradley Cooper, who DROVE A HOT-DOG CAR around the set, and Ed Helms, who is A BANJO FREAK and needs to CONSIDER ANOTHER INSTRUMENT more.
Enough about show business! Let's talk about important stuff. The world has never been more screwed up than it is right now. Except maybe during the WONDER years. I think it all started with FRED SAVAGE and that whole thing he did with SAVAGE GARDEN. Why ask me what to do? Well, celebrities' views on the world are GREAT, because we're ALWAYS GIVING OURSELVES AWARDS AND NOT AT ALL EMBARRASSED BY IT.
This is from a real magazine article in

that should be read in its entirety. The excerpt is from

which you should click on because I clearly stole their work. Do it so I no longer feel guilty.