By: Dan Abramson

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Royal Wedding Recap: Well That Was a Ripping Good Time!

  1. Seriously? You think I woke up early to watch this garbage? Incorrect. Here's a quick list of things I'd rather do than watch The Royal Wedding:
  2. Literally anything.

But if you really wanted to know what happened, here goes: William looked dashing, Kate personified royalty, Benny Hill dropped his pants and chased the Queen while the band played Yakety Sax. Then Reggie Jackson tried to shoot the Queen, who was then saved by Frank Drebin.* Meanwhile Paul McCartney, Prince Charles, and Mr. Bean rode horses while drinking tea and discussing the best ways to quell the rebellion in the colonies. It was pretty wild.
I know I know. That was pretty brief and you deserve your money's worth. But I refuse to continue to discuss something nobody gave a shit about in the first place. So instead, here are some pictures of bears playing with balls.

*Much of my knowledge of British culture is based The Naked Gun, which yes, was set in America.

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