By: Funny Or Die

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Demetri Martin Convinces Us That He Wrote a Book


Demetri Martin supposedly has a book out. It’s supposedly called “This is a Book.” Supposedly. But with a career filled with standup, TV shows, and movies, we find it highly unlikely that the guy found the time to do so. We got the chance to ask the comic some questions to get the bottom of this. To see if he’s for real.

How many sentences have you written in your life?
Demetri: This is the actually the 10 millionth sentence that I have written in my life!

Which one was your favorite?
Demetri: It’s hard to choose just one favorite. But one of my favorites is definitely this one.

What are the best words in the English language?
Demetri: The best words are the ones that are whispered into your ear by the person you love (if done so in a non-threatening and non-breaking-up-with-you kind of way).

Did you have to learn cursive and if so, was it worth it?
Demetri: Yeah, I learned it. I think it was worth it. It comes in handy when I want to write something and look like it was written by an older woman.

Describe your ideal writing environment
Demetri: Tree House.

Did you REALLY write a book?
Demetri: Not only did I REALLY write it. I also REALLY complained about how much work it was while I was writing it and then managed to REALLY annoy my girlfriend when I did that.

How many pages is it?
Demetri: About 280. And that’s with no filler, baby.

And we should read this book of yours?
Demetri: I just think you should buy it. If you want to read it after that or not, that’s up to you.

Alright, so we believe him. These graphs we apparently excerpted last week hammer home the point. As does this link to it on Amazon.

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