1) Brush your teeth, bad breath will make us think that you have a rotten soul and that it’s trying to escape out of your mouth.
2) Tip the waiter at least 20% and no more than 30%, it’ll show us that you’re generous but not also a waiter.
3) Don’t ever lose your temper in front of us and/or punch a wall, we’ve seen enough Lifetime to know what happens next.
4) Be sure not to arrive to a first date wearing a cast even if your arm is broken, it’ll make us think of Ted Bundy and then we’ll never want to be alone with you.
5) Tell us that we look beautiful, more beautiful than your ex who died from, say, the same type of cancer as that chick in Love Story… it’ll show us that you’re vulnerable, well-versed in classic movies from the ’70s and ready to settle down.