Chev Chelios ‘?? has been injected with a toxic amount of Testosterone. He only has two hours to find a cure before his balls explode. However, the insane amount of Testosterone has turned him into the coolest dude in the world. With great raditude comes great distractions: Chev must avoid the temptations of playing volleyball with hot babes, popping wheelies on motorcycles, and judging wet t-shirt contests.
Chev Chelios ‘?? penis has been stolen, andreplaced with a vagina.
CRANK: CHICKEN FINGER FINGERS
Chev Chelios ‘?? fingers have been replaced withchicken fingers. He hasn ‘??t eaten in three days. He has to find his realfingers. He’s so hungry, but if eats his chicken finger fingers, he won’t be able to open doors. And he has to do two things today: kick some ass, and open doors. But it won ‘??t be easy: the chicken finger fingers have a sweet, savoryBBQ seasoning. They were fried the perfect amount, crispy and yet succulent. Also Chev gave up meat for Lent, and he’s super religious.
CRANK: ELBOW AND ARROWS
Chev Chelios ‘?? elbow has been replaced with a bowand arrows.
CRANK: DILDO HANDS
hev Chelios hands have been replaced withdildos. He only has two hours to get his hands back. But it won ‘??t be easy-every woman he sees wants to use his dildo hands to pleasure themselves. To get his real hands back, he will have to avoid the rabidflocks of horny women. Can he avoid flocks of women trying to use his ligimentsfor masturbation purposes? What will he do with the dildos once he gets his handsback? Will he donate them to the lonely horny women? Try to sell them? Throw them away?
CRANK: 'I'M A GAY MAN' T-SHIRT
Chev Chelios ‘?? t-shirt has been stolen andreplaced with a shirt that says ‘??I ‘??m a Gay Man ‘? ‘. The shirt is very tight, soit ‘??s hard to get off. If he doesn ‘??t get it back, people will think he is a gay man. And as if things couldn’t get worse, he’s been dropped out of a helicopter…into the middle of a Gay Pride Parade.
CRANK: SONG STUCK IN HEAD
An evil scientist has injected a potion into ChevChelios with a terrible side effect: he has a U2 song stuck in his head.He can ‘??t stop thinking about it. It ‘??s really starting to piss him off. He can ‘??tremember what the song is called. It might be ‘??Zooropa ‘? ‘; It ‘??s definitely notone of the big singles. It might be on the Greatest Hits. They don ‘??t play itlive very often.
Chev Chelios ankles have been replaced withcankles. He will have to get them back. But it won ‘??t be easy: his socks don ‘??tfit. He ‘??ll have to buy new socks.
Leon Levinstein dreams of being the most powerful man on the Upper East Side. But the evil Madame Detromont stands in his way. SHOGUN OF THE UPPER EAST SIDE Written and Directed by Mitch Lucas mitchlucas.com Starring Mitch Lucas, Meredith Hackman, Will Nunziata, and Jodi Lennon. With David Rysdahl, Paul Gutkowski, Sarah Peele, Zoe Farmingdale, Lyssa Mandel, Leila Ben-Abdallah, Emily Mathwich, and Nicole Pasquale.