By: Keith Saltojanes
1. Judy Moody and the Silly Simian Summer
ORIGINAL TITLE: Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer
NEW APED-TITLE: Judy Moody and the Silly Simian Summer
This movie based on the popular kids book series cost $20million to make and has only earned $13.4 million to date. ‘ Sure, kids might not know what ‘??Simian ‘?? means,but once they see the apes on screen it won ‘??t even matter.
2. Mars Needs Ape-Moms
ORIGINAL TITLE: Mars Needs Moms
NEW APED-TITLE: Mars Needs Ape-Moms
Mars Needs Moms was the
most expensive bombs inHollywood history, costing at least $150 million to produce and grossing atotal $39 million. ‘ This small change would havemade all the difference.
3. Sucker Punch…But with Apes This Time!
ORIGINAL TITLE: SuckerPunch
NEW APED-TITLE: Sucker Punch…But with Apes This Time!
Thisfemale action-fantasy earned $89.8 million Worldwide and cost roughly $82million to produce. The film basically broke even, but with an addition of Apesdancing on tables, they would have made way more.
4. Green Lantern
ORIGINAL TITLE: Green Lantern
NEW APED-TITLE: Green Lantern
Costing at least $200 million to produce, this superheropic will top out at roughly $250 million, making nowhere near as much asanticipated. This isn ‘??t so much about changing the title, as it is just abetter casting choice. Yes, a chimpanzee can out act Ryan Reynolds.
5. Mel Gibson Goes Ape-Shit
ORIGINAL TITLE: The Beaver
NEW APED-TITLE: Mel Gibson Goes Ape-Shit
Just to prove he’s still nuts, Mel Gibson stars in this dramedy with a beaver puppet. This was the biggest flop of the year, costing the studio $20 million to makeand grossing less than $1 million. It’s not too late for the studio though; they just have to make Mr. Gibson look a little bit more like an Ape than he already does in real life.
And who wouldn ‘??t want to see Braveheart ‘??s William Wallace as a chimp?