By: Axe Hair
While a pair of daisy dukes may work for a hot girl, they ‘??renever okay for a guy. ‘ Even thoseBrooklyn hipster skinny jean cut-offs are crossing the line, especially if youcall them Jorts. ‘ This isn ‘??t 1993 andyou ‘??re not Karl Kani. ‘ When it comes todenim, make sure the bottoms can touch your shoes or else you may be cryingyourself to sleep every night. ‘ And don ‘??teven get me started on capri pants, Lance Bass.
There ‘??s nothing wrong with a little heart that says mom onyour bicep, but when you start inking up your face, you ‘??re telling the worldjust how crazy you really are. ‘ There areonly two people that can pull of the face tattoo: Darth Maul and Mike Tyson. ‘ Darth Maul only exists in the hearts of nerdsand you ‘??ll never be Mike Tyson, so unless you grew up raising pigeons in NewYork with severe rage control problems, keep the tats out of your headshot.
Goahead and use all the product you want, but if you pick a gel that turns yourhair into a crunchy mess, don ‘??t be surprised when you have to take your cousinto the prom. ‘ In the history of the world, no woman has ever liked a dudewith a crusty gelmet on their head and they ‘??re not about to start now. ‘You don ‘??t have to compromise ‘??pick a product that can help you get the girl anddoesn ‘??t leave you with crunchy hair. You can thank me later. ‘ Don ‘??t drinkand gel.
TIGHT BASKETBALL JERSEYS
Resurrecting the hardwood heroes of your youth may soundlike a good idea, but so did the Macarena once upon a time. ‘ Besides, it ‘??s hard to get girls if you ‘??re notwearing sleeves. ‘ If you insist on wearinga basketball jersey to anywhere other than a game, make sure it doesn ‘??t makeyou look like Eddy Curry circa 2008. ‘Girls may like seeing the muscles you ‘??ve been developing with your ShakeWeight, but they definitely don ‘??t want to see that pit hair.
SCULPTED CHEST HAIR
When it comes to chest hair, it ‘??s an all or nothingproposition. ‘ Either you rock it out loudand proud or you go full monty and take it all off. ‘ If you ‘??re going to bother trimming it at all,why waste your time pruning your chest like a bonsai tree? ‘ Just pretend you ‘??re an Olympic swimmer and gofor sleek and smooth. ‘ Otherwise, showthe world just how similar you are to our simian brethren. ‘ Some girls get off on the manly man look butnobody like a chest sculptor. ‘ It ‘??s justcreepy, dudes.
‘??In honor of AmericanIdol, it ‘??s supposed to be shaped like a cup of Coke. ‘? ‘