By: Dan Abramson
Google Has Not Taken Over the World ‘? ‘Yet
It's fair to say that everyone on earth loves Google and knows it has a vital role in the future of technology. But how many of us actually trust Google? Eight people in the world, probably. The rest of us sort of treat Google like that lifelong friend who, despite having your back 99% of the time, you know would sleep with your girlfriend if he had the opportunity. And then tell you the details. What I'm saying is that I don't think anyone would actually be surprised if one day Google announced that after years of innovations and easing our lives, they were like “Oh by the way, we've enslaved the human race and taken over the world. And as punishment for being our slaves, everyone has to join Google Wave.” It's really just a matter of time.
But ‘? ‘
We're not there yet. Google+ was an attempt to topple the social networking Goliath that says stuff like “Hi I'm Mark Zuckerberg and I bathed in money and I dried myself with a giant 1 Trillion Dollar Bill.” And while no one knows what the future holds, it didn't happen immediately. That's reassuring. Google's not ready to dominate the world just yet. It's nice to know that the little guys, shockingly Facebook in this case, can survive.
Not Everyone Has to Be a Pioneer
Have fun exploring new territory and blazing trails with nothing but your “hangouts.” The rest of us will be on Facebook with all our stuff. It's comforting to know that we as a society are content with letting a bold few do the dirty work for us.
I Hate Being Told I Can Be a Better Person
The truth is, I hate Facebook. It's the worst. And with the latest updates, they even added new mini-Facebooks to your Facebook, meaning there's so many terrible Facebooks happening at once when you load that awful awful page. But for better or worse, it's part of all our daily routines. And I kind of like my daily routine. And I find nothing more obnoxious than someone I've never met coming along and telling me I'm not living my life the way I should. I own one pair of jeans and it's the pair that already had a belt in it when I found it in the closet at the end of the summer, thank you. I don't need Google+, with its “circles” and multiple pairs of designer jeans, telling me there's more out there to experience. Let me be me. Let us be us. Even if that means reloading Facebook every thirty seconds even though we despise everything about it. Google+ has shown us we're all complacent with our current pair of jeans. Despite their obvious flaws. Good for us!
We're Not as Self Absorbed as We Thought
I mean, we are. We all did sign up immediately and add people to circles whatever the fuck that even means. But it turned out we could only hold up so many mirrors and stare at ourselves. It's like when you're at the barber and they give you that joke-shop mirror and tell you to the look at the back of your neck and you're all like “looks good” even though you have no clue what it's supposed to look like. Google+, while offering innovative features to engage with others, was essentially another mirror that we haven't needed. And when we looked at it, with all its “hangouts” and “+1s”, we basically blurted out “Looks Good!” and then went back to looking at the staring at the front of our haircut. We can only stare at ourselves from so many angles. And that's good to know.
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