Herman Cain Updates Lyrics to ‘Imagine,’ Locks Up the Pizza Vote

Alright guys, election’s over. Give this man the keys to the country. We’ve found a new leader. His name is Herman Cain and years ago he sang a song about pizza, set to the tune of “Imagine”:

Four more years! Four more years! Oh Herman Cain, I’m sorry we doubted you. Your undying love of pizza has won a special place in our hearts. Unfortunately our hearts don’t vote and this does nothing to separate you from your inane tax plan, which unfortunately is not related to pizza.

Though that said, you may have just locked up votes from these guys.

Imagine there’s no pizza
I couldn’t if I tried
Eating only tacos
Or Kentucky Fried
Imagine only burgers
It’s frightening and sad

You’re lucky you have pizza
To feed your kids for you
Only frosting or cookies
And no dishes you must do
Imagine eating pizza
Each and every day

You may say that it’s junk food
But to me it’s so much more
It gives my life its meaning
And it makes a lot of dough

Imagine mozzarella
Anchovies on the side
And maybe, pepperoni
Rounds out your pizza pie
Imagine getting pizza
Delivered to your door

You don’t have to give up now
On my skateboard I will go
I’ll be back in 30 minutes
I just bought Dominoes

All I am saying
Is give pizza a chance
All I am saying
Give pizza a chance!
All I am saying
Is give pizza a chance
All I am saying
You’ve got to, got to give pizza a chance!