Republican National Convention Guest Speakers


























I really hate how those Garfield dentist appointment reminder postcards I get in the mail try to make it seem like it’s for something fun. That being said, I feel that Jim Davis is missing out on licensing Garfield to a broader medical market that could really use levity in their outreach. Here are some possibilities.
‘Sup, I’m Ron Burgundy? JK. But that shit’s hilarious. So I’m here because I love me some Ron Burgundy (no homo) and I was told he’s been hilarious in other movies. Like indie stuff. I ‘d personally never heard of any of them, but this girl who looked like Liz Lemon said she was LOLing like crazy. So I checked some of them out and wrote some reviews. I know! I ‘m like Roger Ebert (RIP). Stay classy, everyone!
“Local milk people” might have been mentioned.
“I want my kisses to taste like ham hock.”
“Charles Manson is getting married and you ‘re still single,” said everyone.