By: Dan Abramson
Let's just get into it.
As funny as the ineptitude of the scab refs is, their reign needs to end. Too much chaos, Too many games being affected, and I'm pretty sure someone died during the Raiders game. Here's a look at the officiating crew having a conference during the Ravens-Patriots game.
I have no idea who benefited from the incompetency party that the Refs held in Baltimore Sunday night, but I'm starting to think that maybe these games don't count? That when the real refs and the NFL strike a deal, Roger Goodell will just fine himself, hold a press conference, and go “eh.”
Do you agree Patriots coach/Skeletor impersonator, Bill Belichick? What say you?
If you're upset, and judging by the empty spot in your chest where a heart should be, just try to track down a ref and give him a piece of your mind:
Oh, also, this:
Thank you Kissing Suzy Kolber from catching that screenshot, as it is simply, the best. I hope Tom Brady goes home every day, win or lose, and does that in front of the mirror for like four hours, repeating, “I’m Tom Fucking Brady.”
But back to the officiating around the league. Both the calls that affected the outcomes and the ones that affected the lives of the players are inexcusable, especially the latter. They missed a brutal helmet to helmet hit on Darius Heyward-Bey that landed him in the hospital. For all the efforts that NFL has put in place to protect its players, what’s the point if the guys they trot on the field to oversee the game are too busy counting the minutes before they have to get back to their day jobs at Foot Locker? WHAT’S YOUR END GAME, ROGER GOODELL?
Anyway, moving along to more of the action.
While the Jets were able to put away the Dolphins in spite of a beautifully executed icing by Joe Philbin, they may have lost star cornerback Darrelle Revis for the year. Even as a Bills fan, I feel terrible for the Jets. Nobody likes injuries, especially to one-of-a-kind talents. Revis is a special player that Rex Ryan has built his defense around. But all that said, there is a positive that comes from this: the Jets will lean on their dynamic duo of Queens Blvd and Jesus (Mark Sanchez and Jesus, er, Tebow) who are ready to take the league by storm. Just look how they fared when they tried to hook up on a pass play.
Yes, that may have looked like Sanchez bounced the ball off Tebow's helmet, but what you didn't see was the emotion that resonated from it. By being on the field and touching the football, Tim Tebow fed a family of 10 and willed the team to victory.
Also, watching the game with a friend yesterday, we couldn't help but notice the major badass that struts out on the field every time the Dolphins kick a field goal. Yes. I'm referring to Dan Carpenter, professional asshole.
On to the brothers Manning. Eli lit up the Panthers. Peyton faltered against the Texans. I can't wait for Thanksgiving where Archie finally lets Eli sit at the grown-up table and tell his stories about his “long bombs.” Of course, this will all happen while Peyton gets frustrated with the ratio of marshmallows in his serving of sweet potato casserole and says things like “How come Eli gets all marshmallows?” and “Why do you keep calling him your special boy?”
Yup, that's exactly how it'll go down.
Okay, I need to address a few things that I often skip over because I have no commentary for them.
The Texans = good.
Jamaal Charles = good
Arizona Cardinals = good. (Seriously what is happening in Arizona? Did they sign Rod Tidwell or something?)
I'll finish this week's recap with my Buffalo Bills. I say they're mine, but really they belong to the city of Buffalo. And by Buffalo, I mean Toronto. Negotiations continued this week to extend their deal to play one home game a year in Canada as their hometown attendance continues to dwindle. I can't imagine why? Perhaps it's the twenty years of bad luck? Perhaps it's the curse laid upon this team? WHO KNOWS IT COULD BE ANYTHING. That bad luck was in the air on Sunday. Despite their win over the mighty Cleveland Browns, the Bills lost their best player, C.J. Spiller, to injury after he'd been the talk of the league, and quite frankly the first player Bills fans have been excited about since free safety Mark Kelso.
Okay, I won't end on the Bills. Nobody should have to leave with that taste in their mouth. Let's talk about the Chargers and check in on Philip Rivers, who reacted very calmly to the dominating victory the Falcons put on him and San Diego.
That GIF also comes courtesy of Kissing Suzy Kolber, who also have a fine recap of the NFL.
Ummm that’s all I got this week. Hopefully this is the last we’ll see of the Replacement Refs until Keanu Reeves one day stars in a movie about them that is much better than it should be.
Update: I wrote this prior to watching the Packers-Seahawks game, which I have yet to see or read anything about. I assume everything ended perfectly and in an organized and thoughtful matter that won't change the course of two teams' seasons. It was probably the kind of ho-hum ending that Roger Goodell sees and then leans back in his chair and says to his wife, “This commish thing ain't so bad.” Then they turn on their television to relax with their favorite program, NCSI, only to have a referee show up and tell them that just despite they clearly having possession of that TV, they are no longer its rightful owner because someone touched it once. BYE!