By: Bryan Safi
10. BOMBSHELL! If Barack Obama Doesn't Release His College Records, Donald Trump is NOT Donating to Charity!
9. BOMBSHELL! For the 4th Year in a Row, Trump's Halloween Costume in NOT Going to be “Grapes”
So disappointing. Hi, Grapes!
8. BOMBSHELL! Barack Obama HATED “Friday Night Lights!”
Wow, this guy is really the worst. Why did he hate it?! How could he even? He’s probably not even watching “Nashville,” which means – BOMBSHELL – he doesn’t support Connie Britton!
7. BOMBSHELL! Barack Obama is Actually Only 2 Feet Tall and Is Held Up by Jill Biden.
He walks around literally standing on her shoulders with a giant coat pulled over both of them. It’s funny! But also, a cover-up! And obviously, a BOMBSHELL.
6. BOMBSHELL! Donald Trump Barely Uses His Discover Card!
Now THAT’S Da BOMB…SHELL!
5. BOMBSHELL! Donald Trump Will Give $5 Million to Charity If He Can Borrow $5 Million From You!
4. BOMBSHELL! Barack Obama Does NOT Think Austin is an “Amazing” City!
He thinks it’s overcrowded and sucks. According to inside sources, when he opens his cupcake shop, it will be in Portland. BOMBSHELL!
3. BOMBSHELL! Donald Trump Likes Cats, but Hey, Dogs Are Cool Too.
Awwww…but also, BOMBSHELL!
2. BOMBSHELL! Barack Obama is from Outer Space!
Actually,this one kind of happened.
1. THIS is Barack Obama!