By: A General Nonchalance

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What Your Favorite Thanksgiving Food Says About You

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Ah Thanksgiving. All of the best foods on one table for one glorious meal. But what does your favorite say about you?

Gravy: You are fat

Turkey: You used to be fat

Mashed Potatoes: You are fat and unoriginal

Canned Cranberry Sauce: Your fat does not discriminate

Stuffing: You have good taste in what makes you fat

Apple Pie: You justify getting fat because there's fruit in it

Pecan Pie: Your fat has no shame

Pumpkin Pie: You have trouble letting go of Halloween and also your plate (what with the being fat and all)

Sweet Potato Marshmallow Casserole: You love life which is why you're a fat person

Turducken: You love fisting ‘fat people. Because you are one.

Tofurkey: You're in college and visiting home and you condescend to those who are fat

Broccoli: You are fat and a liar because these were soaked in butter

Rolls: Ugh, fat and boring

Yams: You use outdated jargon reminiscent of earlier times, one where being fat (which you are) was a sign of wealth and status

Decorative Corn: You may not be fat, but you should not be left alone, you are a crazy person

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