45 of the Best ’30 Rock’ Quotes

Tonight's episode of '30 Rock' ends the run of one of the great comedies TV has ever seen. In honor of the finale, we collected some of the greatest lines from the last seven seasons.

A couple things, before you begin: Notice that it's of the best. If this list was the best, we never would have gotten it done. Seven years of 30 Rock has produced an endless amount gems and we had to draw the line somewhere. Also, we kept it to just Liz, Jack, and Tracy, as again, we'd be here forever if we didn't limit ourselves.

'Never follow a hippie to a second location'

‘Jack

'I like when a woman has ambition. It's like seeing a dog wearing clothes'

‘Jack

'I have to talk to Rachel Maddow. Only one of us can have this haircut'

‘Jack

'Lemon, you look terrible, and I once watched you eat oysters while you had a cold'

‘Jack

'Factories provide three things this country desperately needs: jobs, pride, and material for Bruce Springsteen songs'

‘Jack

'I don't sleep on planes. I don't want to get incepted.'

-Jack

'TGS with Tracy Jordan without Tracy Jordan is an oxymoron, like “liberal government” or “female scientist.”'

‘Jack

'You know how the media are. They wait for a mistake and that's all you are. It happened to Hitler. No one ever talks about his paintings.'

‘ Jack

'I only pass gas once a year, for an hour, atop a mountain in Switzerland.'

‘ Jack

'Ambition is the willingness to kill the things you love and eat them in order to stay alive. Haven't you ever read my throw pillow?'

‘ Jack

'Making it through a full twenty-four hours without making a single misstep is called Reaganing. The only other people who've ever done it? Lee Iacocca, Jack Welch, and ‘no judgment ‘Saddam Hussein.'

‘Jack

'What's wrong, Lemon? When I see you chew your nails like that, it's either you're very anxious, or you handled some ham earlier.'

‘Jack

'Fifty is the new forty for men. Fifty is still sixty for women.'

‘Jack

'What keeps people united on airplanes? The shared hatred of the CBS sitcoms they're forced to watch.'

‘Jack

'I didn't get a bathroom door that looks like a wall by not being good at business.'

‘Jack

'You want a confession? Let's get this done so I can go eat. I'm divorced. I take the Lord's name in vain often and with great relish. I hit my mother with a car, possibly by accident.'

‘Jack

'I get my hair cut every two days ‘after all, your hair is your head suit.'

‘Jack

Liz: Why are you wearing a tux?

Jack: It's after six. What am I, a farmer?

‘Liz and Jack

'I want to go to there.'

-Liz

'Did you really think I wouldn't recognize my college futon, with its trademark absence of sex stains?'

‘Liz

'You wanna party? It's $500 for kissing and $10,000 for snuggling; end of list.'

‘Liz

'I am telling everyone here that there's no way I can be pregnant, because I have had my period for the last 61 days.'

‘Liz

'It doesn't matter how long you've lived in New York. It's still fun to look up and pretend all the buildings are giant severed robot penises.'

‘Liz

'That word bums me out unless it's between meat and pizza.'

-Liz referring to the word “lovers”

'Who hasn't made mistakes? I once french-kissed a dog at a party to try to impress what turned out to be a very tall 12-year-old.'

‘Liz

'Hey, nerds! Who’s got two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn’t cried once today? [pointing thumbs at self] This moi.'

-Liz

'One time I laughed at a blind guy eating spaghetti! Sometimes I pee in the shower if I’m really tired! I saw my grandparents making love once and I didn’t leave right away!'

-Liz

Kenneth: And your landlord called and he says it's not the toilet, it's you.

Liz: That's his opinion.

-Liz and Kenneth

Liz: You have two choices here. You can stay in your room like a child, or you can get out there and do your job. [Tracy stands up]

Liz: Thank you.

Tracy: Oh, I'm sorry, that was misleading. I'm not going to rehearse. I'm going to get a sandwich and then eat it on the toilet.

‘Liz and Tracy

Tracy: I have no reason to hug her except for my love of having boobs pressed against me.

Liz:If I hugged you, I would angle it so you got no boob.

Tracy: And I would anticipate your angling and I would get there.

‘Tracy and Liz

Tracy: I promise. I swear on my mother's grape.

Liz: Okay…did you say 'grave' or 'grape'?

Tracy: Yes, goodbye!

‘Tracy and Liz

'My dear friend Moby just opened a tea house in Park Slope. Do you know him?'

-Tracy

'Tell her you want her to donate her body to science and you're science. Tell her, Jack!' ‘ Tracy

'Court? At night? I’m already laughing. Tell me more.'

-Tracy

'A book hasn't caused me this much trouble since Where's Waldo went to that barber pole factory'

‘Tracy

Let's do it again from the top. I want to get it perfect, because “perfection” is my middle name: Unclaimed Perfection Baby Boy.

‘Tracy

You remember Donald, my son who's two years older than me.

‘Tracy

'I love this cornbread so much I want to take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant.'

‘ Tracy

'What everyone needs to do is calm down, take a deep breath, and prepare their bodies for the Thunderdome. That is the new law.'

‘Tracy

'They do that a lot in movies: An Affair to Remember, Sleepless in Seattle, and that remake of An Affair to Remember that I was in, A Blaffair to Rememblack.'

‘Tracy

'I watched Boston Legal 9 times before I realized it wasn't a new Star Trek.'

-Tracy

'You’re going to sue me? Who do you think you are, the San Diego zoo?'

-Tracy

'We are here because white folks think they can do whatever they want to do to black folks. It's like when Adrian Brody kissed Halle Barry at the Oscars. White people stole jazz, rock and roll, Will Smith, and heart disease.'

‘Tracy

'Shooting people at the Source Awards is a tradition. It's like Christmas. Or shooting people outside of Hot 97.'

‘Tracy

'Here's some advice I wish I woulda got when I was your age: Live every week like it's Shark Week.'

‘Tracy

Well said.