By: Brandon Scott Wolf
1. You Remember You’re A Freshman
You might remember that you’re a freshman in college and just wasted your time and effort by dressing up in business clothes, printing out far too many resumes, and traveling to some pointless fair in an attempt to woo some entry level nobody into letting you make coffee for their coworkers all summer. Also, you don’t have any experience making coffee.
2. You Know You’re Moving Back Home After Graduation
Your mom’s so excited for you to move back home after graduation that she not-so-secretly wanted you to leave that career fair without any leads and good news for mom ‘ ya didn’t! So now it’s time to accept that you’re moving into your dad’s home gym. The one that used to be your bedroom.
3. You Realize You Wasted Your Time And Money On A Worthless Degree That Won’t Get You Anywhere
Well, after 4 years of college, you finally realized that nobody in the real world cares about your minor in watershed management or your French and Francophone Studies major. There’s only one place to go from here: invest even more time and money on a worthless master’s degree in business administration.
4. You Accept That You’re Never Going To Stop Working At That Restaurant
You graduated from college 3 years ago. Why did you even bother attending that career fair? Oh that’s right, because you feel trapped working at that neighborhood eatery. Whatever. You get free food, paid under the table, and your parents think you’re at least “trying.” It could be worse. It can always be worse, you loser.
5. You Went To A Career Fair
It’s okay to cry.