By: John Zachary Townsend
Mad Libs: Pitchfork Review
Can art and (type of commerce) co-exist? At what point does our innate (type of religion) interfere with our artistic (noun)? In a post (national tragedy) world, on an set of tracks heavily inspired by (French Existentialist) and (Sega Genesis Video Game), where records are not judged by their (Random Phrase from Jean-Paul Sartre’s Being and Nothingness or Wendy’s slogan) but by the content of their (Open dictionary, find longest word).
(Name of your first pet) (Name of the street you grew up on), the hottest (amount of time) band from (Neighborhood of Brooklyn), attempt to (verb) all these (synonym for questions) on their new album (type of S.T.D.) (Character from Family Matters), as well as propose a few (adjective you would use to describe a very old dog) questions, such as “how do we (sexual act) in a post (national tragedy) environment? At what cost does our (thing no one really wants) come at the cost of our (title of an 8th grade History paper)?”
“(Type of S.T.D.) (Character from Family Matters)” opens with the (adjective you would use to describe someone you slept with once and might again but only if nothing else was really going on) song “(Synonym for Blowjob) (flavor of milkshake) (Reference to the HBO show Girls)“. With a propulsive beat and (synonym for rapey) vibe, the song gets the album off to a diabolical start, conjuring the sense of (adjective) and (longer synonym for the adjective you just used for no reason), establishing a tone of (type of racism) that feels all too (feeling) in this post (national tragedy/name of corporation) society we (verb of your choice, but preferably fuck or have sex) in.
The album really comes (state of being) on “(Bone in the human body) (German term for Object Permanence)“, the (number between one and fifteen divided by six) track and lead single. With tones of (type of punk rock), the song signals the band taking big chances, pushing their sound out of the familiar (type of place to live) and into the realm of (type of German Philosophy). While at times derivative of (Band from the 70’s) and (Band that does not actually exist), the rest of the album sounds like a (type of music) opera version of (Ayn Rand book) written by (member of the Backstreet Boys or Norman Mailer), produced by (Lemmy from Motorhead).
The album loses (type of gas) towards the (beginning, middle or end), particularly on “(Type of speech impediment) (Occupation for someone who didn’t graduate high school)“, a collaboration with Rabid (Animal you would find in a zoo), a (African Country) DJ who used to be a (type of prostitute) before he went through a (Jewish Passage from Boyhood to Manhood). Sounding like a weak collaboration between (member of Kraftwerk) and (Youtube celebrity, celebrity chef or supreme court justice), the song ends the album on a (British word for umbrella) sour note, reminiscent of the way we felt watching our society crumble after (national tragedy/season finale of a Television show).
Rating: (Number between 1 and 10 divided by 2 plus 3) Point (Number between 3 and 7 or 2 and 6).
