By: Daniel Mirk
Power Rankings: Sandwiches
Meatball sandwich hangs on to the top spot despite allegations that it’s hardly a sandwich at all and is really just a bunch of meatballs resting in trough of bread.
2. Peanut Butter and Nutella
PB&N rises in the charts once again due to a devoted fan base which claims they are literally the best thing ever oh my god what do you mean you’ve never tried it you have to try it.
3. Yellow Mustard And A Single Slice Of Onion
America’s unemployment crisis has been bad for families but great for this meager sandwich.
4. Dunkin Donuts ‘ Pretzel Roll Roast Beef
This objectively disgusting sandwich somehow manages to stay in the Top 5 despite the fact that it is visually repulsive and a “pretzel roll” is not a thing.
5. Italian Sub
The granddaddy of all sandwiches remains relevant even in today’s competitive sandwich landscape by doing what it does best: Giving you a sandwich the size of your forearm loaded with so much meat you literally start to sweat from trying to eat it all.
6. Bacon, Egg, and Cheese
Jeff being Jeff, he made Jello shots and insisted everyone have like five and and it led to a preeeeeetty rough morning but a big boost in the charts for this classic hangover sandwich.
Seeing another uptick in popularity are these tasty sandwiches made from actual human knuckles.
8. Tuna Sandwich
The standard tuna stays in the Top 10 thanks to it’s popularity among paunchy balding businessmen who eat it alone on park benches wondering what their lives would have been like if they had actually strived for their dreams rather than settling for whatever was easiest over and over again until suddenly they were middle-aged and had never done anything about which they were truly proud.
9. Mediterranean Veggie Panini
A true underdog story, this inspiring panini has managed to find success after overcoming the massive challenge of everyone feeling like a total tool when ordering one.
10. Some Kind Of Fancy Cheese And Fruit Thing
Everyone’s co- workers have been raving about this sandwich which is sold only at one particular food truck that never parks in the same place twice so you just have to know someone who knows where it is and it costs $20 and when you finish it you’re still hungry.