Leaked: MTV’s Approval of the Miley Cyrus VMA Performance

From: Exec1@MTV.com
To: Exec2@MTV.com
Subject: See the Miley dress rehearsal?

Did you have a chance to watch the Miley Cyrus VMA dress rehearsal?

From: Exec2@MTV.com
To: Exec1@MTV.com
Subject: RE: See the Miley dress rehearsal?

Totes – looked gr8. Super amped!

From: Exec1@MTV.com
To: Exec2@MTV.com
Subject: RE: See the Miley dress rehearsal?

And you noticed that thing where she spastically thrusts her tongue out and claws at her own crotch and looks completely insane?

From: Exec2@MTV.com
To: Exec1@MTV.com
Subject: RE: See the Miley dress rehearsal?

Yip.

From: Exec1@MTV.com
To: Exec2@MTV.com
Subject: RE: See the Miley dress rehearsal?

Hm. And you saw the part where the adult man dressed as a sexual predator Beetlejuice pantomimes having anal sex with the nearly nude 20-year-old who looks like she's having some sort of drug-induced seizure while a stage full of dancing African American bear-people writhe around on stage?

From: Exec2@MTV.com
To: Exec1@MTV.com
Subject: RE: See the Miley dress rehearsal?

Bro you’re kinda crowding my inbox here. Is this going somewhere?

From: Exec1@MTV.com
To: Exec2@MTV.com
Subject: RE: See the Miley dress rehearsal?

I guess I’m just curious whether the whole thing might strike people as a little, I don't know… shockingly offensive and inappropriate in a totally bizarre, hypersexual, nightmarish train-wreck-that-should-never-be-broadcast-on-TV kind of way?

From: Exec2@MTV.com
To: Exec1@MTV.com

Wut?

From: Exec1@MTV.com
To: Exec2@MTV.com
Subject: RE: See the Miley dress rehearsal?

Just kiddin’ bro! Everyone’s gonna love this performance and I can’t imagine any kind of negative backlash arising from it.
That said, I do have one serious note. What if, halfway through the song, we created a sort of ‘human centipede” situation, where Miley and all the bear-people on stage are surgically stitched together end-to-end with Miley at the front, and then Robin Thick (dressed up in authentic Nazi uniform) force feeds her an enormous pile of his own feces and we get everyone in the audience to chant “Feed her! Feed her!” while ultra-violent child pornography is projected onto every surface of the arena?

From: Exec2@MTV.com
To: Exec1@MTV.com

Dude! I can’t believe I didn’t think of that! Probs too late to work it in this year, but let’s definitely plan on it for next year's VMA’s!