By: Funny Or Die
Another Apple keynote is upon us. What will Tim Cook unveil?
- New 'Tim Cook 5S'
- Bug fixes to the movie 'Jobs'
- Finger-sniffing technology ‘
- Free pack of smokes
- The iSamsung Galaxy S4
- New, cheaper iPhone for stupid, dirty poor people w/ greasy fingerprint recognition technology and a general disdain for its user
- New gold iPhone designed especially for show-offs
- A sandwich with two iPads for bread ‘
- A way to convince Deborah to take you back
- New iPad shuffle that jumps to random pages in books whether you like it or not
- Bar graph showing how much fun everyone is having
- Photo of the child who made your phone
- Smart watch (a normal watch that your grandmother thinks looks 'very smart' on you) ‘
- Handwritten plea for help from the child who made your phone
- New iSlap bracelet with optional iScrunchie
- Eazy-E hologram demos latest version of Outlook
- Ashton Kutcher runs onstage to reveal that the whole movie thing was just an elaborate Punking ‘
- 10 Free Hours of AOL