By: Alex Schmidt

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Tony Romo’s Schedule This Week


-Off day! Woo!

-Test out those noise-cancelling headphones that finally came from Amazon




-afternoon dentist's appointment

-call and let Coach know about missing film room session for dentist

-show Dez B. my new noise-cancelling headphones by using them whenever he's in earshot




-afternoon dentist's follow-up

-call and let Coach know about missing make-up film room session for follow-up dentist session

-remind Coach these chompers are a part of the face of the franchise

-stress-test noise-cancelling headphones at midweek press conference



-drills with second team

-afternoon dentist training @ Central Texas School of Dentistry

-tell Coach there's nothing wrong and these classes could really save the team money on health care outlays

-go for a long drive with noise-cancelling headphones on, just to see what happens







-travel to barn, pop shirt off

-do real-life version of that scene in Roadhouse where Sam Elliott tries to talk sense into Swayze, but Swayze just trains around him, too angry and focused and glistening with sweat to speak, also instead of Sam Elliott it's Jerry Jones

-sleep under the stars of the East Texas night



-travel to Washington DC (good thing those headphones are definitely working!)

-say hi to Coach, keep walking briskly

-claim exhaustion if anyone even breathes the words “film”, “room”, “Packers”, or “int-“

-don't ruminate on facing backup QB Kirk Cousins this week, having lost the last two weeks to backup QB Matt Flynn and backup QB Josh McCown

-go back to hotel without looking at ads for The Sound of Music Live Starring Carrie Underwood: Now on DVD

-Google “noise-cancelling brain pills”


-Arrive at Redskins' stadium for game day! Woo!

-Play first three quarters

-Let Other Tony play fourth quarter

-Go through this shit one more week

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