By: Pat O'Brien

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My Best Friend: A Poem by Dennis Rodman

My Best Friend
A Poem by Dennis Rodman
As a basketball man, I have had lots of friends
from Madonna to Stockton, the list never ends
Some of them were platonic (the ones with no tits)
and with Carman Elektra, there were benefits
But I never thought I’d be so close to a man
with a soft, chubby face and a swift leader’s hand
Who can make me feel special, and famous once more
like my days of green hair and The Rodman World Tour
When I feel past my prime, I can still be a hunk
as he squeals with delight, yelling “black man make dunk!”
For I know that my bestie would not steer me wrong
with respect to his dad, he’s the illest Kim Jong
And though Kim’s a girl’s name, he is all man, you see
if I ever said different, he’d execute me
For my friend has a temper – hey, haven’t we all? –
but he also likes movies, and loves basketball
So when they say that he’s evil, it makes me feel sad
Sure, his people are starving, but that’s not his bad
Yes, he murdered his uncle and fed him to dogs
But I’m sure he deserved it ‘sometimes we play Pogs!
And we all have our quirks, at the end of the day
plus I’m getting paid money, so fuck Kenneth Bae

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