By: Pope Francis
WHAT'S UP OTHER POPES!?!
The old popes used to drive Mercedes, eat expensive fish, see 3D movies in the IMAX, bathe in Sprite, get paid, and get laid. But that's not our style N-E-MORE!
We new popes are busy as blessed bees, we're humble as shit, and we're turning our cheeks to that church cash. We're the spiritual leaders of the world and we got the dirty calluses and empty wallets to prove it. I haven't showered in days and I've been playing phone tag with my brother since Mary's conception. But you know what?
NO TIME? NO $$? NO PROBLEM. Even if you're pope-poor and on the holy go there are ways for popes to LIVE LIKE CHILL KINGS.
That’s why I want to help you popes out with some LIFE HACKS FOR POPES. Check it out buds, follow me on Twitter, repost on Tumblr, “Like” my prayers and I’ll Holy See you at the next robe swap (I’ll bring the Franzia!). Some of you may have already seen this list on buzzfeed.com/therealpope, but I know you’ll forgive me CUZ THAT’S OUR JOBS!