By: Jason Flowers

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23 What-if Scenarios Regarding Missing Malaysia Airlines Flight 370


As the search continues into the disappearance of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370, investigators are considering any and all possible causes. Here’s a brief list of what-if scenarios that have gained some traction in the last few days and now are being considered as possible answers to this great mystery.

  • What if the plane’s still flying, circling the airport till the pilot’s favorite song is over?
  • What if the plane was hijacked, but it was just supposed to be a goof, but then it just got out of hand and nobody’s laughing now?
  • What if it’s like that TV show Lost, meaning it’s available on DVD/Blu-Ray Combo Pack and we could just skip to the end to see how this all shakes out?
  • What if it’s like that TV show Lost and there’s a fat guy on the plane who won the lottery?
  • What if it’s like that TV show Party of Five, only Scott Wolf is a pilot on the show or something?
  • What if the plane took a sharp turn because the copilot wouldn’t stop crying and the pilot was like, “I’ll turn this plane around right now!” AND THEN HE DID, but whoops!?
  • What if the pilot was just a stubborn dad, refusing to stop for directions and telling his wife he doesn’t need to stop at a gas station?
  • What if everyone on the plane was playing the alphabet game, but were having a hard time finding a “Q,” so they took drastic measures?
  • What if the pilot just wanted to slip past radar so that he could grab a quick beer with his friends before heading home to his unappreciative family?
  • What if the plane just wanted to keep flying because they were “making good time?”
  • What if the plane turned suddenly because the flight attendants started seeing signs for what seems like a cool outlet mall at the next exit?
  • What if somebody on-board the plane forgot their kid at home because of a series of unfortunate mixups that morning?
  • What if that kid wished the plane would disappear before having to defend his home and order pizza?
  • What if there was a scary old man carrying a shovel, who, it turns out, was actually really nice once you got to know him, except no one told the pilots so they kept being scared forever?
  • What if the plane veered off course because the copilot was horse-playing and knocked over his soda and when the pilot reached over to clean it up grabbed the wheel real hard?
  • What if the the pilot just wanted to take the backroads to avoid traffic, but couldn’t get a signal out there because he doesn’t use Verizon, America's Largest 4G LTE Network?
  • What if this is all just viral marketing for every airline besides Malaysia Airlines?
  • What if this is all just viral marketing for NBC’s About a Boy, which I haven’t seen yet but is maybe about a plane?
  • What if this is another Jimmy Kimmel prank?
  • What if this isn’t another Jimmy Kimmel prank?
  • What if the plane got a flat tire and so the pilot offered to show the copilot how to change it, you know, as a bonding moment, and it was really sweet, but then just as they tightened the last bolt, they remembered they were 30,000 feet in the air?
  • What if the plane crashed because Dad, I mean the pilot, was tired, but didn’t want to let Mom, I mean the copilot, fly the plane because in his family “a gentleman always drives, I mean flies?”
  • What if this is all a preview to the final season of HBO’s The Newsroom?

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