25 Ways To Celebrate the 25th Anniversary of the Game Boy

The Nintendo Game Boy turned 25 this week. Here are 25 ways to celebrate its birthday:

• Make cupcakes in four vibrant shades of grey
• Break a pi ‘ata full of AA batteries
• Bring your Game Boy to a rental car place and let it pick out whichever car it wants (it’s old enough to rent one now)
• Get your shit together and finally beat Castlevania
• Do a live-action role-play of “Dr. Mario” by eating a bunch of random pills
• Use your Game Boy to pass the time in the hospital after eating a bunch of random pills
• Invite your little brother over and refuse to share with him, for old time’s sake
• Skate and/or Die
• Do “Tetris shots”: 1 shot of alcohol for each line completed in Tetris
• Do “Tetanus shots”: 1 vaccination for every time you handle a 25-year-old piece of machinery that’s been in your damp garage for two decades
• Run around your neighborhood throwing newspapers at people (Paperboying)
• Run around your neighborhood stealing newspapers from people’s doorsteps (petty theft)
• Smash the shit out of an Atari Lynx
• Congratulate your Game Boy on becoming a handsome, well-rounded Game Man
• Lose yourself in the moment and go in for a kiss
• Remember what Doctor Reynolds said about kissing inanimate objects
• Find that copy of ‘Kid Icarus’ you borrowed from your friend Robby Wikarski in 2nd grade
• Wonder how ol’ Robby’s doing
• Find Robby on Facebook
• Drive to his house and start pounding on the windows, screaming “ICARUS, ROBBY! I FOUND ICARUS!!!”
• Get arrested
• Use your Game Boy to pass the time in jail
• Finally get released after weeks of trading cigarettes for fresh AA batteries
• Go in for another- no, remember what Dr. Reynolds said ‘Game Boys aren't for kissing
• Return to your windowless apartment and wait quietly for the 25th anniversary of the Game Gear in 2015