By: Funny Or Die
Crypt | Front Page | No Video | Originals | Soccer | Source: WP All Import | Sports
13 Ways to Feel Better About USA Losing to Belgium
- Locate Belgium on a map, go there, make a friend and never speak to him again.
- Remember that new US soccer season is only (????) months away!
- Order some waffles at IHOP. When they come, insist you said pancakes and watch them throw em in the trash.
- Call the Tim Howard closest to you and ask him to tell the real Tim Howard you said, ‘Good job.”
- Punch a wall using only your head.
- Have sex with your significant other but blow a whistle and say ‘No hands!” any time they try something.
- Fly a kite into little kids’ kites until those kites are too damaged to fly.
- Masturbate a bunch?
- Forget about the US for a little while by burning all your flags.
- Start a rumor that you slept with Belgium’s wife.
- Remember we lead Belgium in Kate Uptons 1:0.
- Build your own World Cup with hair scraps from the barber shop.
- Remember that you didn’t care about this a month ago.