By: News

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The Arbitrary System the NFL Uses to Issue Suspensions

With the news that Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice has only been suspended two games for beating his girlfriend unconscious, it has raised concerns about the message NFL commissioner Roger Goodell is sending when you compare the one year suspension for marijuana use he issued to Browns’ player Josh Gordon or the three game suspension to Chargers'Vincent Jackson for driving without a license. This may seem like an unjust system that implies that domestic violence is a less serious offense than recreational marijuana use, but take a look at the NFL’s full list of offenses and corresponding number of game suspension to help put things in context.

  • Smoking marijuana = 16 games
  • Beating your girlfriend unconscious on camera at Casino = 2 games
  • Driving a vehicle without a license = 3 games
  • Getting a concussion = must play extra 3 games with no helmet
  • Domestic violence while driving a vehicle without a license while listening to “that Willie Nelson weed music” = 1 game
  • Petting a dog with a suspicious grin on your face = 1 game
  • Petting a dog with a suspicious grin on the dog’s face =10 games
  • Watching “Half Baked” on Comedy Central while you fold laundry = 3.5 games
  • Making an “eek” face when Roger Goodell makes a distasteful joke = Lifetime ban
  • Spilling spaghetti sauce on your jersey while eating at an Italian restaurant = 5 games and a condescending head shake that seems to say “Really?”
  • Saying the phrase “domestic violence” = No suspension, but Goodell covers his ears and screams “LA LA LA I HEAR NOTHING LA LA LA”
  • Saying the word “pot” = No suspension, but Goodell mimes smoking a joint and goes “420 bros! No cops!” which is so uncomfortable that you wish you were suspended
  • Saying the phrase “long term effects of repetitive concussive brain trauma” out loud during a press conference = 5,000 games

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