By: Funny Or Die
Why the New ‘Sarah Palin Channel’ Is Totally Worth the Money
Political firebrand and former not-quite ‘Vice President Sarah Palin recently launched her very own TV network, a subscription-only streaming service called ‘The Sarah Palin Channel.” Palin is touting the site as an alternative to mainstream media, and a forum for fed-up conservatives to engage directly with fellow patriots.
Of course, all this freedom isn’t free! The service costs $9.95 a month (only a dollar more than your Netflix subscription!) and gains you access to a wide variety of non- ‘gotcha” journalism, top-quality original programming, and all the folksy, homespun wisdom you can handle. Here are just some of the exciting features waiting for you over at SarahPalinChannel.com!
Netflix-quality Original Programming
Insightful Blog Posts
From such diverse minds as Sarah Palin’s husband, Todd, and Sarah Palin’s daughter, Bristol!
Plenty of Hilarious, Half-sensical Conservative Memes You Can Share On Facebook
A Comments Section That Lets YOU Join the Conversation
And if you’re worried about the money, don’t! The Sarah Palin Channel offers several affordable subscription options:
Normal subscriber ‘ $9.99 a month
Benefits: all the infotainment and entermation from Sarah that your brain can handle!
Maverick subscriber ‘ $19.99 a week
Benefits: state-of-the-art options like the ability to watch video of Sarah talking into a webcam (not on the TV; right on the computer!!), the ability to click on words on her website and have that word take you to another page on that website, and special placement on an electronic-mail list!
Patriot subscriber ‘ $29.99 a day
Benefits: special access to something you won’t find anywhere else online: ‘free speech” boards where Patriots like you can speak your mind without having to worry about being politically correct; just type the nastiest truths you can think of and hit enter ‘ they’re welcome here! The only rule is ‘no sound bites” because, in the words of Sarah, ‘I love my country too much to allow sound bites ‘ and you can quote me on that.”