By: Nate Dern
Protection from Police Violence: Which Vigilante Is for You?
Internet hacker group Anonymous has joined the growing outrage around a police officer shooting a young unarmed black man in Ferguson, Missouri. The group’s video demands Missouri officials to create legislation providing standards of police conduct for situations like the one that resulted in the shooting. The group’s ultimatum involves a promise to hack into Missouri governmental sites and post information of the Ferguson police department if legislation isn’t introduced.
With instances of unchecked police brutality frequently in the news lately, it feels like we might need a hero to save us. Is Anonymous the hero we deserve? Consult the following chart to see which vigilante is right for you.
 Batman |
 Anonymous |
 “Big Daddy” from Kick-Ass |
 Ferguson, Missouri police department |
WINNER | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| What is it? | A superhero appearing in comic books and films; dresses like a bat; has a badass utility belt. | Loosely associated international network of hacker activists. | A former police officer whose wife was killed by mob; turns to vigilantism for revenge. | Smalltown police department who just shot an 18 year-old unarmed kid and made up a story to cover their asses. | Batman (utility belts are cool) |
| Known for? | One of the few superheroes without supernatural powers; has dead parents; again, very cool utility belt. | Well-publicized publicity attacks on governmental and corporate websites in response to acts of injustice. | Trains his young daughter to be a highly proficient assassin under name ‘Hit Girl.” | Killing an unarmed 18 year-old a week before he was supposed to start college. | Batman (utility belts are really cool) |
| Shoots unarmed youths? | No (doesn’t use a gun). | No (unless you change shoots to ‘Distributed Denial of Service Attacks” and change ‘youths” to ‘websites of corrupt organizations”). | Yes, but only as a training exercise when they’re wearing a bullet proof vest. | Yes. Straight up yes, they shoot unarmed youths. | Big Daddy (here is the scene) |
| Shoots and kills unarmed youths? | No. | No. | No. | Yes. | How does this keep happening? |
| Alter ego? | Bruce Wayne. | Presumably, but they really stick to the whole ‘anonymous” thing. | Damon Macready. | We’ll see soon when Anonymous reveals all of their private information if government officials don’t respond to demands. | What year is this? |
| Weapon of choice? | Fists. | Computer. | Impassioned singular drive of deeply personal vendetta. | They shot a kid. Multiple witness confirm his hands were raised above his head and he was fully complying, and they shot him anyway. | Again, they shot a kid. They shot an unarmed kid multiple times. |
| Good guy or bad guy? | Good guy. | Good guys. | Good guy. | Bad guys. | While issues of justice are rarely as simple as presented in the good and evil of comic books, we should all be able to agree on this: no more shooting unarmed youths. |
What is it?
Batman: A superhero appearing in comic books and films; dresses like a bat; has a badass utility belt.
Anonymous: Loosely associated international network of hacker activists.
‘Big Daddy” from Kick-Ass: A former police officer whose wife was killed by mob; turns to vigilantism for revenge.
Ferguson, Missouri police department: Smalltown police department who just shot an 18 year-old unarmed kid and made up a story to cover their asses.
Known for?
Batman: One of the few superheroes without supernatural powers; has dead parents; again, very cool utility belt.
Anonymous: Well-publicized publicity attacks on governmental and corporate websites in response to acts of injustice.
‘Big Daddy” from Kick-Ass: Trains his young daughter to be a highly proficient assassin under name ‘Hit Girl.”
Ferguson, Missouri police department: Killing an unarmed 18 year-old a week before he was supposed to start college.
Shoots unarmed youths?
Batman: No (doesn’t use a gun).
Anonymous: No (unless you change shoots to ‘Distributed Denial of Service Attacks” and change ‘youths” to ‘websites of corrupt organizations”).
‘Big Daddy” from Kick-Ass: Yes, but only as a training exercise.
Ferguson, Missouri police department: Yes. Straight up yes, they shoot unarmed youths.
Shoots and kills unarmed youths?
Batman: No.
Anonymous: No.
‘Big Daddy” from Kick-Ass: No.
Ferguson, Missouri police department: Yes.
Alter ego?
Batman: Bruce Wayne.
Anonymous: Presumably, but they really stick to the whole ‘anonymous” thing.
‘Big Daddy” from Kick-Ass: Damon Macready.
Ferguson, Missouri police department: We’ll see soon when Anonymous reveals all of their private information if government officials don’t respond to demands.
Weapon of choice?
Batman: Fists.
Anonymous: Computer.
‘Big Daddy” from Kick-Ass: Impassioned singular drive of deeply personal vendetta.
Ferguson, Missouri police department: They shot a kid. Multiple witness confirm his hands were raised above his head and he was fully complying, and they shot him anyway.
Good guy or bad guy?
Batman: Good guy.
Anonymous: Good guys.
‘Big Daddy” from Kick-Ass: Good guy.
Ferguson, Missouri police department: Bad guys.
