According to a recent report, for 18 years advisers at the University of North Carolina funneled thousands of student-athletes into fake classes to pad their GPAs and keep them eligible for sports.
The following are the course descriptions for some of these nonexistent classes:
I Dunno. Math, I Guess? 103 (3 Course Hours):
This course will revisit the fundamentals of ‘well, math and math-related topics, I suppose. Students will want to have taken some other ‘math classes? Whatever, just bring a calculator.
Litterecy 203 (1 Corse Our):
This 1 will help the studens withe there reeding an riting.
Slam Dunking 900 (3 Course Hours):
Allows students to claim credits for slam dunks they were going to perform anyway. Great course for busy athletes.
Transcript Forgery 100 (4 Course Hours):
This actual, real class will cover the basics of falsifying grades to artificially inflate GPAs. Highly recommended for anyone “taking” any other class in this catalog.
Gender Studies 304 – Experiential Narratives Seminar (8 Course Hours):
Students will discuss sexual experiences with the goal of discerning which students are superior.
Film Studies 301 – Adaptations of Young Adult Literature and the Female Gaze (4 Course Hours):
All you need to do to pass this class is check a box for “Team Peeta.” If you check “Team Gale” you will be expelled because then it’s like did you even read Book 3?
Criminal Justice 202 (3 Course Hours):
Students pass this course if they are able to successfully talk the police out of charging them with criminal offenses like sexual assault, dog fighting, weapons possession, failure to yield at a stop sign, stealing a stop sign, sexual assault of a stop sign, etc.
Advanced Astrophysics G-4001 (8 Course Hours):
It’s a lot easier than people think.
Sociology 204c – Topics In Inter-Generational Value (3.5 Course Hours):
Students will get credit for meeting and extracting money from older alumni.
Honors Meteorology 101b (4 Course Hours):
Students do not need to enroll at the start of the semester, but four credit hours will automatically be granted to any student-athlete who feels a little glum when it’s rainy out.
Hiding 101 (2 Course Hours):
Students will receive full credit so long as they never show up for class even once. No prerequisites.
Technical Sleeping 304 (500+ Course Hours):
An advanced sleeping class, where students will build on their snoozing and dozing skills from previous semesters. Classes will be held in each individual student’s dorm room every night from 11 p.m. until 9 a.m.