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FAQ: Is Obamacare Working?

Every week Funny Or Die News brings you a new FAQ so you can get your news facts bullet-pointed straight into your brain.

The Affordable Care Act, popularly known as Obamacare, has now been in effect for one year. According to an in depth report from The New York Times, the Affordable Care Act has succeeded in its goal of reducing the number of uninsured Americans, with the number of uninsured falling by 25%. But is Obamacare working? To find out, consult the following FAQ.

What percentage of our national defense budget would pay for free healthcare for all Americans? It’s a really small percentage, isn’t it?
The answer to this question is too depressing.

What if I ‘I got something stuck ‘up there? Will Obamacare help me?
Most insurance plans cover visits to a general practitioner, who will refer you to a gynecologist or a proctologist, depending on which “up there” you are referring to.

If Obamacare is really working like you say, then why isn’t it easier to scam Oxycodone from doctors? Doesn’t seem like it’s any easier than it used to be or anything.
There are many resources for substance abuse issues on the website.

I’m currently choking on a chicken bone. How do I choose which Obamacare plan is right for me?
You waited too long.

Now that healthcare is the law of the land, what about that episode of Friends where Joey gets a hernia while he’s uninsured?
It’s currently being reshot.

So who are these people that still want to get rid of Obamacare?
Many of them are Emergency Room Peepers, a type of sick fuck fetishist that camps out in the bushes outside of Emergency Rooms and jerks off to all the poor people that use it as their only form of health care.

I hate rules and I don’t want the government to tell me that I have to do anything, especially “be insured.” What should I do?
You should die as quickly as possible, so as to avoid overburdening the health care system.

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